I Detest...

I actually detest something, hate something, and cringe at something.  This 'something' I have such passionate feelings about is what I'm being trained to do at work right now.  I'm almost done my 2nd week, 3 more to go, BUT the technique, strict technique, is hard to grasp.  I don't want to go into detail because it can be very confusing but I'm learning how to mix preps at work in the pharmacy.  Preps being TPNS, chemo for 2 weeks and then more CIVA for 1 week after that.

Aseptic technique is KEY.  That means preventing contamination of the prep in the hood (laminar flow hood).  Hand movements are particular, critical sites CANNOT be touched or blocked from the air flow coming from the back of the hood, items can only be placed in specific ways on the workspace in the hood, etc, etc.  I understand the mandatory rules, it's just the movements are NOT natural to everyday life.  I've been told that I will get the 'ah ha' moment in the near future but until then.....it's NOT FUN! 

Why can't work be fun?  Is that such a bad thing?  If anything, why can't it be satisfactory?  Well during this time of training, I'm very stressed, very stressed.  I'm trying my darnedest but little mistakes aren't acceptable because of contamination reasons.  Got it!  

Because I'm training to do TPNs right now, those don't get made until after lunch so in the meantime I'm to help the CIVA tech with their batch of daily preps.  Ok no problem....I'm getting better and a bit more confident doing those....they're generally a "draw up and shoot".  Average workload for the TPN tech in the afternoons can be 7 preps....well, thank goodness, the most I've had to do in an afternoon is 4.  At about 1 hr each....that says overtime.  

Yesterday and today I've had to make a neo-natal TPN core (not gonna explain it).  The core is definitely a pain to make and my first one yesterday took me 2 hours.  The previous trainer said that's not surprising for my first one.  It can take up to 1 hr for an experienced tech to complete.  Then the doctor changed the order and I had to make another core today!!!!!  Well that dictated my afternoon to be stressful and bombarded.  Thankfully the CIVA tech did one of my required TPNs for me before she left for the day.  I did the core, an adult TPN (more straight forward) and then the rest of the neo-natal TPN.  I didn't leave the pharmacy until 4:25pm....just over 1 hour of overtime.  And to boot, I don't know if I'm allowed to claim OT because I'm training and it's understandable that I will be slow in getting the preps done.  I have emailed my boss about the OT.  If so, then I can claim 1 hr 8 min today, about 27 min yesterday and probably another 20 or so min last week.  If my trainer claimed the OT, then I'll just have to see what times she claimed for.  I almost feel selfish in asking to claim the OT because I feel super guilty in taking so long to complete the work.  I'm sooooo sloooooow.  I don't know if I've ever taken this long in trying to grasp a new task before.

Since I dislike this job so much I briefly (and unrealistically) deliberated over dropping my full time position just so I don't have to mix but then I'd go to part time (evening shifts).  Not cool.  Because I am a realistic thinking type of person I'm afraid to think of how the workload could be when I'm done being trained and on my own.  (I can sense a heart attack right there!)  Basic preps are supposed to take about 15 min.....I am 4 times slower than that.

Well I think my rant and rave is almost done.  I'm sure the reader of this post is confused but I thought I'd get it all down before I loose momentum and motivation to type this all.

My trainer, boss and I will be having a little meeting tomorrow regarding my training and progress....kinda nerve racking but no use in fretting about it....it is what it is.

Since I'm gonna continue on with the training, as if I have a choice, I can only hope progress and positiveness will develop.

Stay tuned.